Saturday, April 11, 2009

Handling sadness

How do you handle sadness? Since I've come to terms with Lily's condition, I've placed it in my heart, but my heart pushed it out and let it float around like a bubble, long enough for me to experience it. Then, poof, that bubble popped. I had experienced that sadness and it was gone. Until the next wave came on.
That's not how I have always handled my sadness. In the past, I would swallow it and it would float around deep in the inner recesses of my being. Only time would make it dwindle.
I experienced that kind of sadness last night. Lily hasn't been moving as much as she had been, and it saddened me. I think part of it also has to do with the fact that I'm a week away from my due date. It was quite an emotional night.
Anyway, after I had swallowed that sadness, Lily moved around. It was as if she was trying to escape that sadness that was floating around. I've got to do a better job of putting it in my heart.
I tell you this as a plea to those who are experiencing sadness due to a diagnosis like Trisomy 18. I just don't think it is healthy for our babies to feel our sadness when we let it sink into us like that. Sometimes I wonder if our baby's condition worsens because we just can't let go of that sadness.
I made a promise to Lily that I would try to be as positive and happiness filled as I could. For her sake. I ask you to do the same for your own baby's sake.


  1. You are right lily. Hope I coped was I'd use Hypnotherapy on myself. I learnt from Hypnobirthing that you are what you think. So I kept repeating to myself. My baby will be ok. The liquid in her brain will subside. I am ok. I am calm. I just kept repeating this over and over again. And I kept singing to Vera inside and talking to her. although the singing sometimes chokes me up but I kept it up cos music has been proven to work miracles. hope this helps...praying for you to stay positive.

  2. Thanks Jill! It's so easy to let the sadness wash over us, but I do find that the happier I am, the more I feel Miss Toot dancing ... they're amazing little girls, our daughters. You and Dave and Lily are all in my prayers, and I'm thinking of you so much as you approach your due date!!

  3. "Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair --- It gives you something to do, but doesn't bring you anywhere."

    Hope this helps, and God Bless you and Lily! ^^

  4. Jill and Lily

    I am praying for you both.

    Love and Blessings,
    Kathryn - (Mom to
    Christina T18 - 12/1/04-1/20/06)