Sunday, May 31, 2009


I've contemplated sharing this incident that happened the other night--there's an intimacy about it that made me wonder if I should share, but it was also an absolutely beautiful moment that I can't help but sharing.

Lily is spoiled, I'll not lie. We gladly spoil her. Couple that with the fact that I'm exhausted, and you have a baby who cries in the night and gets put in the bed with mommy and daddy. I just turn the bathroom light on and position her in the crook of my arm so she can look at the light. She's held (just like she wants to be) and occupied (just like I want her to be) and I sleep (just like I want to do).

Early the other morning (Lily was in the bed with us), I awoke to her grunting. I moved her so that she was about a foot away from me, and I turned myself on my side so that I was facing her, but there was enough space in between us. Like I said, about a foot. I stayed awake because she kept grunting. After a while, she had nuzzled her sweet little self right up against me. Her little head kept moving back and forth. She nuzzed some more. Now, I did not have a shirt on, and before long, she had latched on to me (all by herself!) and laid perfectly still and fell asleep.

I tell you this because Lily's never expressed interest in nursing. Every ounce of breast milk that she's gotten has been pumped into a bottle and is either taken that way or put into the bag to be pumped into her. It amazes me that this little one month old was able to move herself and find me. It amazes me that she latched on. It amazes me that I was able to comfort her directly in that way. I'm telling you, this little girl amazes me every day. It was such a beautiful moment.


  1. This just brought tears to my eyes. There is nothing more precious and more beautiful than a nursing baby and mama. To know that Lily was able to do that with her Mama despite the T-18 is really miraculous and I praise the Lord you had this moment with her.

    Blessings and Love from California,

  2. With tears I read your comment. First off, that you are such her source of comfort and consolation. The second is that she could move her sweet little body. Something we didn't do for probably 1 1/2 years. Obviously, her telling you that she is exactly where God's want her to be. Thank you for this sweet touching moment you shared with us. God Bless you sweet Lily! Praying you to be strong and keep growing.

  3. This is so beautiful & the awe of it will stay with me. I am so glad you chose to share this intimate moment with your readers. So, so, precious that despite her T18, she is first a foremost your daughter & a baby & God created her to go to you for comfort.. So, sweet.

  4. Oh absolutely wonderful! I'm so excited for the both of you to have that moment...I hope you have many, many more!


  5. Oh Jill, what a beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing that with us. It has tears rolling down my face.
    Love to you all!
    Lisa Eaves

  6. How incredibly selfless of you to share such an amazing moment with us. My tears are of joy for you and Lily sharing this incredible experience for the first time. Truly amazing ... Little Lily you captivated our hearts long ago ... love to you all, Ann J.

  7. Beautiful. The kind of moment some of us were only able to wish for. I LOVE living on this side of the adventure through you. It brings me such joy.

    I hope that you have a camera near by next time. It would be a picture that you treasure forever!

  8. That image brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing your beautiful Lily with us.

  9. you are amazing jill. that is why i enjoy reading your blog. you are willing to expose yourself (no pun intended) to us all and your geniuneness - is that a word? - touches us all. thank you.

  10. Lily Grace can't get enough of your touch and your love...I'm amazed that she could move that distance - but she knew what she needed and wanted and she went after it. I love you all.