Wednesday, March 25, 2009

More pictures and the birthplan

Grumpy face!

We've got more, but I'll stop for now. I just can't help but continue to feel good about that experience. I think it's something Dave and I both needed.

Below is a copy of our birthplan. Please, feel free to use it. We put a lot of time and effort into creating it, so we'd love to be able to save you some time. Our process was quite methodical, which took us out of much of the emotional state, so it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Still, it wasn't easy.

Birth Plan for Lily Grace

Our Goals are that:
1. Lily be born alive

Vaginal Delivery

Jill wishes to have a vaginal birth and would like an epidural for pain but no other sedatives because she wants to be fully alert during and after Lily’s birth. If warranted, please supply Jill with oxygen to help Lily’s oxygen supply.

Should Jill need a cesarean section to keep her safe, (because of breach position), we request that any medication used allow her to be as coherent as possible.

Fetal Monitoring

We ask that fetal monitoring be performed throughout labor and delivery with the volume off, but with the option to turn it on. We ask that the nursing staff monitor Lily’s vitals and let us know if she begins showing signs of distress and having decelerations.

2. Lily’s loved ones get a chance to meet her

We have decided that our daughters, Rani and Autumn, may be present during the delivery if they wish. We would like all other family to wait in the waiting room until they are requested. We request that no one enter the room without first understanding our situation. Then only those necessary or requested should be allowed in the room. (No students, etc.)

We are requesting that your chaplain, Susan G., update our family for us on Lily’s condition. If she’s unavailable, please have a nurse or social worker do this for us.

We ask that our family and close friends be allowed to visit when we are ready for visitors. Please do not make visiting hours an issue, as this may be the only chance the family will get to meet her.We will also have our minister on call to perform a baptism if Lily is thriving after a few hours.

3. Lily be given only comfort care

Lily’s Birth

We would like the doctor to tell us the outcome of Lily’s birth directly, but with compassion. If Lily has a heartbeat, we would like Dave to have the option of cutting the umbilical cord if he chooses.

Dr. B (or one of his associates) will be present for the delivery and will consult with us regarding all decisions relating to Lily’s needs. We have spoken with him regarding Lily's condition and our perspective, and he will help us make decisions on treatment for her condition.


We ask that Lily be placed on Jill’s stomach/chest after all necessary procedures (standard suctioning, rubbing, vigorous drying) have been performed. We request that all unnecessary procedures be delayed (weighing, measuring, footprints, eye ointment, vitamin K, etc.) for a later time. We request that Lily be warmed up using warm blankets and skin-to-skin contact (no incubator). We desire that one of us hold her, if possible, at all times.

If Lily is born with a viable heart rate and respiration, we request comfort care only. We do not wish for heroic measures (such as CPR or intubations) that will only delay her death. If the measure has the ability to allow her to thrive, we support the action.

If Lily is born with a heart rate and no respiratory effort, we would like staff to attempt PPV/ambu bag to start respirations. If Lily does not respond within a few minutes we would like to stop medical intervention.

If her heart is not beating at birth, we do not wish any attempts at CPR.

We would like Dave to accompany Lily during any procedures that must be done elsewhere.

4. Lily suffer as little as possible

Pain Medication

Please consult either Dave or Jill before administering pain medication to make Lily more comfortable. If it is to be given, we wish for it to be in the least painful and intrusive way possible. We would like Lily to be given free-flowing oxygen, if necessary.


Jill would like to try to breastfeed Lily. If she won’t or can’t breastfeed, Jill would like to express breast milk, but we are open to suggestions of other feeding methods (including a feeding tube), which may be easier and more effective for our daughter.

5. We get to spend as much time as possible with Lily


We would like to have the option to give Lily her first bath and dress her.

Rooming In/NICU

We desire Lily stay in the room with us and not be in the NICU, unless she is thriving. If Lily needs to leave our room, Dave should be holding and accompanying her throughout the hospital.

6. We make and take home as many memories as possible


We have contacted an organization called, “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.” They will be coming in to take memory photos of our family. We request that we are informed when they arrive, and that they are allowed to work unimpeded.


To help us celebrate and remember this special time, we have thought about keepsakes and other things we would like to do. Here is a list; if there are other items you think we might want, we would be grateful for those suggestions:
*crib cards *hats
*blankets *lock of hair (if possible)
*hand & foot prints *bracelets
*cord clamp *lots of pictures
*molds of hands & feet (we have kits with us)
*videotaping*hospital ID bracelets

We wish for your patience and respect should we want to change this birthplan during or after the delivery.

We appreciate your understanding and your help and support and your expressions of grief, be it through tears or humor. Please do not hesitate to cry or be sad in front of us if that is how you feel.

In the event that Lily is stillborn or suffers an early death:

If Lily is stillborn, we want her to stay with us for as long as we feel necessary. We ask that you give us privacy to grieve, without abandoning us. Please notify staff members as appropriate. Please encourage us to do whatever feels right. We would also like the option to bathe and dress her, as we feel ready to do so, as a family. Also, please allow specific family members or friends to come in as we request. Depending on the circumstances, we request Lily stay with us until the funeral home arrives.

If it is her time to go, we wish for Lily’s passing to be as peaceful as possible

Thank you for acknowledging our birthplan.

Dave and Jill


  1. Great birth plan!!! (I suppose only another T18 mommy can say that!) I can tell that you put a lot of time and thought into every decision. You did a really good job...I'm so proud of you.

    Don't be surprised if your nursing staff doesn't know anything about this when you arrive at the hospital. Plan on spending some time talking to her and going over everything step by step.

    I love the video's...she is super cute!

  2. Wow, I can't imagine how hard it has been to have to sit down and write it out! I pray that everyone you encounter is compassionate and understanding!

    She is a the video and pics!

    Take care! xoxo, Amy

  3. Jill, my heart is smiling for you! You have such a beautiful baby! Lily is gorgeous! I love the video of her moving around and moving those little arms!!

    The birth plan is SPOT've truly taken time to think through everything and I think things will go smoothly for you guys. Like Jennifer said, only another mommy that has experienced this can truly say "good job". I'm so glad you have gotten kits to take prints...My good friend got me some plaster that goes in a bi-fold frame and I have Maddox's precious footprints in the plaster and they wrote her name on it! I also thought about doing "ornaments" with pink footprints on it..but Maddie was too if you've not thought about Christmas and a good keepsake for grandparents and aunts and uncles...then Hobby Lobby or Michael's has round ceramic discs with holes in the can get some pink paint and pink ribbon for ornaments! - just a thought!

    i'm still praying for you my friend!

  4. Hi Jill -
    I know you're relieved to have the birth plan completed. It is beautifully done. Your love for precious Lily is evident.

    Thank you for continuing to share your story. I am cheering for little miss Lily. Loved the videos and seeing her active in her 'home'.
    She's beautiful!!

    Many blessings,
    (mommy to Noah)

  5. Hi Jill,David and precious Lily, you are such and inspiration and blessing to everyone by sharing such a special time in your life. I LOVE the videos of you Lily, you look like you are just about ready to make your grand entrance into your mom and dad's world. I'm praying for you to be strong and you sure look like you are, you are so loved by so many people you don't even know, I pray God will give you a lot of time to meet your family, you will give them so much joy, I'll be praying for you all the way. Jill and David, Lily is sure looking like she's tired of being in her home, she's ready to give you some joy after enduring your journey of love. Your birth plan is just too perfect! God, I'm sure is reading your blog and sees what's in your heart, I pray he'll give you the joy you're waiting for. You are such wonderful parents and God will see you through this no matter what happens, just know there have been a lot prayers for you. My heart goes out to you. GREAT JOB!!! She is so beautiful, I had to laugh when she opened her mouth, and seen her little arms moving around. God Bless, Lynda and Terry Moreland

  6. Hi Jill,

    Lily is adorable! I can't get over how much she was moving around ... I think she has quite the feisty personality :) Thanks for sharing her with us, and thanks too for sharing your birth plan. We're starting ours now and it's so helpful to have a guide. I'm praying for you all!!