Putting Out Fires

Yesterday, Gabriel and I spent the morning playing firefighter. We'd drive on our sofa firetruck until we saw a fire and then we'd jump out, take our hoses off, and spray the fire out.

If only those were the only fires I was putting out yesterday.

With sleep deprivation looming over everything, Lily vomited once. Soleil, twice. Each time, I got a nice bit of it on me. Our 15 year old, 70+ pound dog slipped in our kitchen, but he was too heavy for me to help him up, so on our kitchen floor he stayed, and that was painful to watch. No one wanted to sleep at the same time, so a nap was unheard of.

It used to be that when Lily vomited, a panic would come over me and I'd clean her up in a tizzy. Anymore, I just grab the towel and wipe and play with her cheeks, hoping that I can convince her that she can focus on something else to keep from bringing her milk up. It never works.

Yesterday, this anger (not at the kids) overtook me for a second. I imagined this little sprite sitting off in some corner getting a good laugh at all he'd put me through. My first thought was how I'd like to punch him so! Silly, I know. Then I stopped and thought about it and just. . .accepted it all. It is what it is. Deal with it.

It's not easy. But it's got to be taken care of and I'm the one here during the day to do that.

Soleil--who rarely ever cries, by the way--is crying. Time to put out another fire.

Lily licks (I mean, loves) her sister

You may have to watch this video twice. The first time, to see Lily giving Soleil a taste. The second time, to watch Lily's hand.

Allergies?

I can't tell you how many days we have been vomit free, but I will say that it could not have come at a better time. It just so happened that before Soleil was born, I took Lily again to the doctor because she sounded congested and I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to be contagious. The doctor noticed that we had seen him SIX times since September for the same problem, and practically each time, he thought he heard wheezing but could never be sure due to her loud congestion.

I questioned whether it could be allergies. When my "allergies" act up, my face itches, my eyes water, and I have drainage in the back of my throat that makes my throat itch. Lily was rubbing her face a lot, Dave and I had noticed her eyes looked watery, and it just seemed to me that drainage in the back of her throat (there were times when we never saw evidence of a runny nose) could have been causing a tickling feeling, thus causing the vomiting. Plus, there are two things here that we didn't have back at our old house--an inside dog and carpet.

I'm not one to quickly put my children on medicine, but when the doctor suggested Singulair and told me that it helped with wheezing and had an antihistamine, I was willing to try it.

Lily has not vomited since. I still keep a towel downstairs, just in case, but I'm so much more relaxed when I feed her. That's such a good feeling!

More Pictures of Soleil

Zilla's a girl!

Moments after birth

After her first bath--our little frog

Meet Soleil Faith
Born January 7
3:42 pm
5 pounds 14 ounces
20 inches long

We're now home and doing fine. She's such a sweet little girl. I know it's only been a little over 24 hours, but she's quiet and loving and so cuddly. And tiny. Just a little bigger than Lily was when she was born.

I'm glad to be home. I've missed Gabriel and Lily, and they missed me. Lily was so cute when I got home. I honestly think she heard my voice because she whined until I picked her up and started playing with her. Then she was so happy and she kept showing me how much of a big girl she is. Gosh, she feels different, so chunky.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers throughout this pregnancy.

That Still, Small Voice

Oh, how many lessons have I learned from Lily? I believe the list is never ending. One of the lessons that is in the spotlight these days is hearing That Still, Small Voice. . .and listening to it. I can't really say that I heard that voice when I was pregnant with Lily. Instead, I just trusted with blind faith. Nothing told me to trust. I just did. I likened it to the Nestee Plunge--just falling back into God's hands.

With Zilla, though, things have been so much different. I think I've said it before, but the baby's abdomen is measuring small. They keep telling us that we just have a skinny baby, but I've had ultrasound after ultrasound, and now I'm at the point where I'm having to do a kick count twice a day. Things like that add worry to this pregnancy.

But every time I worry, I hear this whisper--Trust Me. It's such a settling voice. But here's the rub: When I hear that voice, I realize that it doesn't necessarily mean that everything is going to be perfect. Instead, I know that it means that no matter what happens, God's love will wrap around us like a hand-knitted shawl. It will warm us in our joy or help to comfort us in our sorrow or help us endure in the difficult days.

It's been doing that for us with Lily all along.

Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas! (It's been a busy few days, hence the belated post.) A few updates. . .

Lily's vomitting has gotten better. After about three days with none at all, she did vomit once today. I really think it's sinus related, coupled with the possibility that Lily's stomach sphincter just isn't strong enough due to her low tone. I was told by Molly, one of Lily's NICU nurses, that if she's vomitting once a day (or less) we really don't have much to worry about. More than that, though, and we should pursue testing.

Lily had a VCUG done. The process itself was horrible for her. The techs tried at least three times to insert the catheter then decided to call in the doctor. Lily was not happy! The doctor tried at least three times before finally realizing that Lily's vagina has a fold in it; therefore, finally getting it right. That process was hard to endure. There was a part of me that wanted to scream enough! But there was another part that realized that we needed to know whether or not Lily's kidneys were refluxing. As bad as it was, I'm glad we went through it. Now I know, if Lily's urine needs to be tested, I'll insist that she get bagged instead of cathed. That test came back negative. Yeah!

As for Zilla, I had about two hours worth of contractions last night. Although I haven't dilated any, the doctor says it's possible that Zilla could be here before the induction date. That would be nice not to have to be induced.

Here are a few pictures we took over the holidays. It's hard to believe that this is our second Christmas with Lily. It's also hard to believe that in a few days, she'll be twenty months! We have so much to be thankful for!

We finally caught the cookie monster!

My mom got Lily this toy. I love it because it flips so Lily can look at it while lying on the floor, she can stand to play with it, or she can sit like she's doing in this picture. Lily doesn't play much with toys, but today, while on the floor, she was patting at the pieces that hang down. It was such a sight to see!

Christmas Eve was spent at my mom's. This is another toy that Lily got, but she wasn't interested in the unwrapping. We tried to wake her up but to no avail. This toy can be put on Lily's crib, and she can use her feet to play the "piano." Lily LOVES touching things with her feet, so I just know she'll love this toy.

Lily loves giving Gabriel hugs!