Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Quality of Life -- Day Three

The love I have for my children is equal. Sometimes I wonder if they think that's true, but it is. I would step in front of a moving train just as quickly for one as I would the other. But here's something I don't think they'll understand and they might even think is unfair.

When Lily does something developmentally new, I feel this joy I've never felt with my other children.

That does not mean that I don't feel joy with my other children. I certainly do. It's just more intense with Lily. I think it's so intense because I've always had an expectation for Rani and Autumn and Gabriel. I expected them to smile and roll over and sit up by themselves and laugh and to have all those other appropriate developments at various stages of their lives. With Lily, I have no idea what to expect.

I rejoice when she smiles and rolls over and holds her head up. I can't get enough of her sweet laughter, even though it sometimes sounds like she can't decide whether she wants to laugh or cry. I have hope that one day she'll be able to walk in some sort of way. That hope lightly floats in my heart like a bubble on a soft wind.

Lily laughs. And my heart laughs and sings and rejoices with every laugh she makes. Enjoy, as I do.


  1. I love these videos! Keep them coming!

  2. thanks so much for sharing these beautiful thoughts and videos. What a wonderful idea.

  3. Annabel has that same laugh that sounds like a laugh but almost like she is trying to cry. I love these post with the videos. Thank you for writing.