Thursday, November 3, 2011

Marriage Refreshed

The other night, Dave and I went to see Josh Groban in concert.  It was a birthday/anniversary gift that he got me back in April.  Quite extravagant, if you ask me, but it was so worth it!

I know I'm biased here, but I think Dave and I are a pretty cool couple.  We're good for each other.  We fit.  It's something I used to think about and have so much pride in a good bit, but lately, that's fallen behind Lily and her needs, and Gabriel and his needs, and Soleil and her needs. . .and Rani and Autumn's needs, too (even though they are quite self-sufficient these days).  And I hadn't given the "coolness" of our relationship that much thought.  It's not that our marriage was struggling.  Maybe we were just falling into the rut of routine.

I remember as if it were yesterday, when Dave and I were dating.  I was a big Josh Groban fan, and he had a song that he sang in Spanish.  Dave knew Spanish a whole lot better than I, and so I asked him if he could translate this song.  I can still hear Dave's voice as he translated. . .

There's a special meaning to Josh Groban now, because of that night, and it's all about Dave.

So we're at the concert, and Josh begins singing.  And it was all I could do to keep myself from crying like a baby.  Then the second song, same thing.  And the third song!  Nevermind that his voice is like honey.  Nevermind that his songs are sadly yet sweetly romantic.   It was all about realizing just how much I had been focusing on everything else and how little I had been focusing on us--Dave and me. 

It's easy to do when you have kids and a busy lifestyle.  It's even easier to do when you have a child with a disability.  I read somewhere that up to 80% of marriages where a special needs child is involved end in divorce.

I can see how.  There's that much more to deal with:  more worry, more stress, more lack of sleep, more frustration.  Just more, more, more.  And you begin taking things for granted just so you can merely survive.  That's what I did anyway.

I'm so thankful that Dave got us the tickets to that concert.  I can't say it saved a marriage--we weren't there, thank goodness--but it certainly reopened my eyes to the beauty of our marriage--that. . .coolness--and I feel refreshed and ready to take on eternity with my husband.


  1. So glad to hear you got to have some mommy daddy time! I agree that it is so important when you have children to find a way somehow to get that special time in every once in awhile.

  2. What a great story to hear! Especially in our culture where marriage drift & divorce are rampant. So glad you found such a beautiful way to reconnect & are reclaiming your relationship from "survival mode".

  3. I'am here absolutely randon, and I've read this post... I'm impressed, be happy and love each other!

  4. Ditto to all the above. I hope you and Dave always remember how much dear your marriage is and find many more opportunites to reconnect. :)

  5. So touching, so beautiful! Love, Momma Ray