Sweet Dream

The other night, I dreamed that my nana (who passed away a few years ago) was sitting up in bed with a pink nightgown on, holding Lily. Lily was laughing and scooting around like she was having fun playing with her. I got in bed with them and began playing with Lily. While we were playing, she said Ma Ma. I then would say other things to her, and she'd try to repeat them, accurately saying some words and giving the right number of syllables. And we would laugh every time.

Such a happy little dream, but it made me miss my nana dreadfully. I then thought about Lily being in Heaven with her and that put a lump in my throat, but it also made me glad that someone would be up there with her so she wouldn't have to be "alone." We're not there yet, where Lily is gone from our lives, but the possibility stands like a shadow, never far. A form of some reality, waiting.

Gosh, sometimes it seems so far away, though. On Monday, Lily weighed 11' 5". Up from 10' 12" two Wednesdays before. She's into size 2 diapers and size 3 months clothing. She's getting such positive remarks from her therapists--still won't take a bottle, though. She delights in her daddy every time he holds her. She's sleeping a little better and smiling more and fussing less. I'd like to believe she's invincible, though I know in my heart she is not. These may be little things, but they swell my heart, and I celebrate her accomplishments.