Because she doesn't sleep well at night and because one night she slept for one hour before finally falling asleep at 6 in the morning, I called Lily's doctor and told him that Dave and I were at our wit's end. He asked me how long I've let her cry. Not long. I usually hold her and pat her back. He asked how long Dave has let her cry. Maybe an hour. Maybe a little more. He said we're just going to have to let her cry. Put her down and let her cry for an hour. After an hour has passed, pick her up and comfort her, but put her back down. If you have to let her cry for another hour, do it. Needless to say, it's not that easy when you feed a child every 3 hours, especially in the middle of the night.
Dave and I moved to the computer room and have been uncomfortably sleeping on the futon for three weeks or so. And Lily has been crying. There were a few times when I went into the bedroom, and she was lodged in the corner of the crib. She just moves around so much! But it scares me. I'm always afraid of what I'm going to find. One night, I awoke at 3 (a usual feeding time for the week) to find that she wasn't crying. It worried me so much, I got out of bed and went to check on her. All was well.
I know it sounds horrible that we're letting her cry, but we hope that one of these days she'll catch on that she's supposed to sleep at night. Plus, we are in desperate need of sleep!
I have to say that Lily is doing a little better. It's just that she wants to stay up from about 11:00 to about 2:00. Once she falls asleep at that late hour, she does sleep pretty well. Maybe it's working.
But I've digressed. Like I said, I just worried so much about her. I came across this quote that Sydney Grace's mom found on another blog.
.......To live with the conscious knowledge of the shadow of uncertainty, with the knowledge that disaster or tragedy could strike at any time; to be afraid and to know and acknowledge your fear, and still to live creatively and with unstinting love: that is to live with Grace. Peter Henry Abrahams
I live with that fear every day of my life. I am afraid of the uncertainty. When is Lily's tragedy going to strike? But like all of the other moms out there who live with that fear, the sum of my fears are nowhere near equal to the depth of my love for this little girl. I'm not patting myself on the back here. It seems human nature to me. But for sure, that is to live with (Lily) Grace.
Lily had to go to the doctor today. It seems she got Gabriel's cold and I heard a little wheezing. She's on some antibiotics for her ears that might be infected (The doctor can't see down her ear canal because it's so small. Lily's constantly pulling on her ears, and luckily, she did it when she was at the doctor, so he put her on some medicine, thinking that it won't hurt just in case she does have an ear infection, but also hoping that it will stop what this cold could become.) She has a wet cough and just not acting like she feels very good. Poor little girl.